I find myself at home alone on a friday morning. Daddy has gone to work taking little R to daycare on his way and I’m waiting to head off to the hospital to start my 3rd treatment.
I’m feeling contemplative for 2 reasons:
1) Its amazing how ‘incomplete’ I feel when I’m on my own now. I can count on both hands the number of times I have been on my own since little R was born. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been alone at home since she was born. No wonder I feel like a part of me is missing when she isn’t around. The baby next door started crying about an hour ago and I jumped up out of my chair by instinct. Having a baby with little support has been a challenge for sure, but it sure is worth it! I love her with every tiny fibre of my being and am having the BEST time watching her grow into a beautiful little person.
2) I can’t even begin to express how my life has changed since starting this arthritis treatment. I spent 3 years in horrendous pain at night and over half of that sleeping sitting up at 45 degrees because lying flat was impossible. Not only can I lie down like a ‘normal’ person next to my husband (who spent 18 months cuddling up to my 7 pillows) but I can sleep all night without even the slightest twinge of pain in my spine. UNBELIEVABLE. Its like someone turned off a switch and the pain disappeared. I am grateful beyond belief that my specialist agreed, without any tangible evidence, that I have auto-immune Psoriatic Arthritis and stuck with me down this long and frustrating journey to treatment. I am also immensely thankful that Medicare has a subsidy programme that pays for my treatment, because at $3,300 every 8 weeks, I would not otherwise be able to have it.
I have so much to be thankful for and that is just the tip of the iceberg!
Here are a couple of photos of Ruby I took yesterday, munching on a mango pip and scoffing some yogurt (on her own, mind you – what a big girl!)